The Children’s Museum Is Going Down. LIFE Church Is Going Up

Walla Walla locals are calling it the valley’s own personal 9/11, while LIFE Church goers rejoice. Early Monday, LIFE Church reportedly closed the deal on acquiring the building and property of the Children’s Museum of Walla Walla. According to the claims circulating locally, the church plans to demolish the community center in early 2027 to pave the way for a landing strip that will accommodate the church’s new private jet.

LIFE Church recently purchased the Cinemark Grand Cinemas property in Walla Walla, located at 1325 W. Poplar Street, for $6.5 million. Pressed on the decision to purchase the Children’s Museum adjacent to the theater, Pastor Bob Grim reportedly responded, “There simply isn’t enough room in the theater to properly worship. It was a necessary purchase.”

On the subject of the children who would lose access to the museum, Grim reportedly said, “It was a shitty museum. There was always a wasp nest in that old firetruck anyway. If you really want to go, then do it before January. That’s when we’re wrecking it.”

The museum, which has been around for nearly 22 years, has been discussed as having a value of roughly $75,000–$100,000 based on its 2024 Form 990-EZ. However, according to the claims circulating, LIFE Church managed to seal the deal with an offer of just $1,700.

The UB got in touch with a higher-up at the museum who preferred to remain anonymous. Asked to explain the unusually low sale price, the anonymous source reportedly replied, “LIFE Church made it very clear that if we did not forfeit our assets, it would be certain we were to be condemned to the searing, unbearable fire of hell for eternity.”

Whether or not you agree with the acquisition and the potential shutdown of one of Walla Walla’s most beloved children’s centers, the change will certainly be audible come 2027, when LIFE Church begins burning jet fuel on its mission trips to impoverished locations such as Hawaii.